“You okay? You seem stressed.”
“I’m so stressed at the minute.”
“Can’t talk much today. I’m absolutely bogged down!”
We’ve all heard these conversations, probably more times than we can count. And I wonder whether that’s part of the problem.
We talk about stress so often that it’s become a fairly normal way to describe being busy, having a difficult week or feeling like we’ve got too much on.
But there’s a difference between having a busy week and finding that the pressure is starting to affect how you feel, how you behave and how you get through the day.
And it’s not always obvious when you’ve crossed that line.
You might be getting everything done at work but going home completely exhausted. You might be sleeping badly, finding yourself unusually irritable or noticing that you haven’t had much enthusiasm for the things you normally enjoy.
None of those things necessarily means you’re experiencing stress. But they’re worth paying attention to, particularly if they’re becoming a pattern.
That’s really what Stress Awareness Day, held on the first Wednesday in November each year, gives us an opportunity to do. Get a little better at recognising stress and understanding what might help.
Not just another reminder to take a bubble bath or go for a walk (although both are perfectly lovely things to do).
Are we missing the signs of stress?
One of the tricky things about stress is that it doesn’t look the same for everyone.
Some people become withdrawn. Others might be more irritable, emotional or restless than usual. Some people struggle to sleep, while others feel permanently exhausted, no matter how much rest they get.
You might notice changes in your appetite, headaches, muscle tension or difficulty concentrating. Or perhaps you’ve started avoiding social plans because you simply haven’t got the energy.
Of course, these things can happen for all sorts of reasons, and we shouldn’t assume stress is always the cause.
But it’s worth noticing when something changes.
And that applies to the people around us too. If a normally chatty colleague has gone quiet, or someone who usually takes things in their stride seems unusually overwhelmed, it might be worth checking in.
You don’t need to make a big thing of it. Sometimes a simple, genuine “How are things going?” is enough to open up a conversation.
How full is your Pressure Pot?
Something we explore in our Mental Wellbeing training is the idea of a Pressure Pot.
It’s a useful way of thinking about all the different pressures we’re carrying around, because stress isn’t always caused by one big problem.
It might be work deadlines, financial worries, family responsibilities or a difficult relationship. And even things we’re looking forward to, like moving house or starting a new job, can add pressure.
Individually, those things might feel perfectly manageable. But when several happen at once, it’s a different story.
And we’re all different.
What feels manageable to one person might be overwhelming for another. Even our own ability to manage pressure changes depending on what’s going on in our lives and the support we have around us.
Think about a time when something relatively small has tipped you over the edge. Perhaps you’ve managed a demanding day at work, dealt with a few problems at home, and then the washing machine breaks.
Normally, you’d deal with it. But on that particular day, it’s the last thing you need.
The washing machine probably isn’t the real problem. It’s everything else that’s already filling your Pressure Pot.
Understanding that can help us be a little kinder to ourselves and more understanding of others.
It also helps us recognise that sometimes the answer isn’t to get better at coping. Sometimes we need to look at what’s creating the pressure in the first place.
When did you last check in with yourself?
We’re often quite good at noticing when someone else seems stressed, but not always so good at recognising it in ourselves.
It’s easy to get used to feeling tired, busy or overwhelmed, particularly if you’ve been feeling that way for a while.
And when somebody asks how you’re doing, “Fine, thanks!” tends to come out automatically.
So here’s something worth trying.
Calm People, specialists in stress management and emotional resilience, have a free five-minute Stress Test that helps you explore the different pressures in your life.
It asks 40 questions across ten areas of life and gives you a visual breakdown of your responses.
It’s not a diagnosis, and it’s not going to tell you everything about your mental wellbeing. But it can be a useful way of taking stock, particularly if you haven’t given much thought to how stress might be affecting you.
You might be surprised by what you notice.
Take the free five-minute Stress Test with Calm People
So, what can we actually do about stress?
The answer will depend on what’s causing it.
And that’s an important point, because we can sometimes make stress management sound like another list of things people ought to be doing.
Get more sleep. Exercise more. Eat better. Practise mindfulness. Spend less time on your phone.
All sensible suggestions, but if you’re already overwhelmed, being handed another to-do list isn’t always particularly helpful.
A better starting point might be to ask yourself what’s contributing to the pressure and what, realistically, could change.
If work is the main problem, perhaps it’s time for a conversation about your workload, deadlines or the support you need. If you’re constantly working beyond your contracted hours, simply learning relaxation techniques isn’t going to address that.
If you’ve taken on too much outside work, consider whether there’s anything you could put on hold, share with someone else or say no to for a while.
If you’ve stopped doing the things you enjoy, think about how you might make a little room for them again. Spending time outdoors, seeing friends, reading or doing something creative can all be worthwhile, even if you can only manage a small amount of time.
And don’t overlook the basics. Sleep, regular meals, movement and social connection all have a part to play in our wellbeing.
None of this means you have to get everything right. We’re human, and life doesn’t always allow for perfect routines.
Sometimes the most helpful thing is simply acknowledging that you’re struggling and talking to someone about it.
That might be a friend, family member, colleague or your manager. If stress is ongoing, affecting your daily life or causing symptoms that concern you, it’s worth speaking to your GP or another appropriate healthcare professional.
You don’t have to wait until things become unmanageable before asking for support.
What about stress at work?
There’s another side to this conversation, particularly for employers and managers.
We can encourage people to look after themselves, take breaks and speak up when they’re struggling. And we absolutely should.
But we also need to look at what’s happening within the workplace.
According to the Health and Safety Executive, work-related stress, depression or anxiety accounted for an estimated 22.1 million working days lost in Great Britain during 2024/25.
That’s a considerable number, and it highlights why workplace stress deserves proper attention.
Employers have a legal responsibility to assess and manage risks from work-related stress. The HSE Management Standards identify six key areas that can contribute to stress, including workload demands, the level of control people have over their work, support, relationships, roles and organisational change.
We’ve covered this in more detail in our article on workplace stress risk assessments.
But beyond the formal responsibilities, there’s a very practical question worth asking.
If somebody in your team told you they were struggling with stress, would you know what to do next?
Would you feel comfortable having that conversation? Would you know how to listen without making assumptions, and when to involve someone else?
And importantly, would you be able to look at the working conditions that might be contributing to the problem?
You don’t have to be a mental health professional to be a supportive manager. But it helps to have the confidence and skills to recognise when someone might need support, have an appropriate conversation and understand your responsibilities.
That’s one of the reasons our Mental Wellbeing training at SkillBase First Aid goes beyond simply raising awareness.
We help people develop practical skills for noticing changes, starting supportive conversations, listening, understanding boundaries and knowing what to do next.
Because most people genuinely want to help. They’re just not always sure how.
One thing to think about this Stress Awareness Day
We’ve probably all told someone we’re stressed without giving it much thought.
And we’ve probably all heard someone else say it and carried on with our day.
That’s not necessarily a problem. Not every mention of stress needs to become a serious conversation.
But it is worth being a little more aware of when everyday pressure might be turning into something that’s affecting our wellbeing.
Perhaps that means noticing a change in yourself, having a conversation you’ve been putting off or checking in with someone who hasn’t seemed quite themselves lately.
And perhaps it starts with a question we don’t ask ourselves often enough:
How full is your Pressure Pot?
If you’re not sure, the free Calm People Stress Test is a useful place to start.
If you’re concerned about your mental or physical health, seek appropriate professional advice. If someone is in immediate danger, call 999.
0 Comments